Day 74 -- The Chaperone

Released: February 18th, 2011

Starring: Paul Levesque, Ariel Winter, Kevin Corrigan, Yeardley Smith, Annabeth Gish
  
Writer/Director: S.J. Roth/Stephen Herek

Description: An ex-con on the run from his criminal past, hides out from those he ratted on by chaperoning a field trip to New Orleans.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

After watching "the movie that shall not be named", anything would look like "Gone with the Wind". It's hard to critique a kids movie because they realistically make no effort to be a classic movie. They just want to be entertaining, and interest a kid enough that they force their parents to buy the DVD. This is how the producers make back their money.

"The Chaperone" falls just short of being a solid kid's adventure movies. The story of a father who's trying to reconnect with his kid after being away for a while is good enough to get any kid to watch it. Add in a goofy field trip, adolescent jokes, and well done action set pieces and this movie should have been a hit among the middle school sect. But its ending was anti-climatic and was too rushed to be memorable. 

The performances weren't all that bad. Levesque as Ray-Ray was actually good in the emotional scenes, and great in the action scenes. And Ariel Winter of Modern Family, who played Ray's estranged daughter, was a bit over matched at times, but knew how to play the sassy moments and she made them believable. The work of these two together needed to be the heart of the film, but their chemistry wasn't strong enough to believe the change of heart that Ray's daughter had toward him. It was too convenient and happened over the span of one scene.

This failure in story telling shouldn't have been much of a surprise since the writing was generic at best. The punchlines were way too telegraphed to be funny, and the final scene erased any consequences that should have occurred. But I guess the need to have a happily ever after in kid's movies kept this from having a strong and true ending. 

"The Chaperone" is an okay kid's film that I wouldn't stop my kid from watching. There's enough legitimate acting in this movie for it to be a passable film, but the plot and story had so much potential. Winter is going to be a good comedic actress, but she needs to learn nuance. Something her peer, Chloe Moretz, has already mastered. She has time, but has to make sure she doesn't fall into the bad habits that make the Disney channel actresses hard to watch. One of the more encouraging things was that, Levesque has the potential to follow in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's footsteps as a solid action and kid's movie actor, but lacks Johnson's charisma to be in a comedy.

Rating: 4.5/10 -- Probably would of loved this as a 10-year-old who was really into wrestling. Good supporting cast allows this film to be adequate.

Day 73 -- Little Hercules

Released: 2009
     
Starring: Hulk Hogan, Paul Wight, Nick Hogan, Judd Nelson, Elliot Gould, Richard Sandrak
  
Writer/Director: Robert Boris/Mohamed Khashoggi

Description: Little Hercules travels from Mt. Olympus to live life as a mortal in Los Angeles

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

Honestly, I don't know what to say. I'm left speechless by how utterly awful this movie is, and how it is feature length. This may be the shortest review I write because there really not much to criticize because all of it sucks. Oh, did I mention it was made in 3D. Ugh.

"Little Hercules" is about an unhappy half-mortal, half-immortal living on Mount Olympus, who really wants to live on Earth. After a so bad it's funny battle between Zeus (Hogan) and Marduk (Wight), Hercules (Sandrak) sneaks down on to Earth. This when he runs into the most stereotypical black character ever written, and the most boring high school ever where XX (Yes, that's his name), who is "played" by Nick Hogan, is the bully.

After Zeus and Marduk make some kind of "Name That Tune" bet on how long Hercules can stay on Earth, Herc begins to live like a mortal after his powers are stripped. Then, there's this thing with his sword, winning a track meet, and getting his powers back by following his heart. I really didn't pay too close attention because I was too busy banging my head on my coffee table, in the hopes that I would pass out and not have to watch it anymore.

To call any of the performances "acting" would be an insult to the art. I don't believe you could cast a movie with worst actors if you tried to do it on purpose. Sadly, that includes Eliot Gould and Judd Nelson (poor Bender). When you cast a movie and hire the entire Hogan family -- Brooke and Linda were in this abomination too -- you would have been better off using all the money involved in production as toilet paper. I hope this was one giant Punk'd on some jerk movie producer.

"Little Hercules" wouldn't even be good as a movie made by middle-schoolers. The plot's a mess, the actors are beyond awful, and the production itself was an insult to movie making. If I was involved in this movie, I would've cashed the check and then completely forgot it ever existed.  Like a bad 3 a.m. hook-up.

Rating: 0.5/10 -- *Bangs head on table*

Day 72 -- Knucklehead

Released: October 27th, 2010
     
Starring: Paul Wight, Mark Feuerstein, Melora Hardin, Dennis Farina, Will Patton
 
Writer/Director: Bear Aderhold, Tom Sullivan and Adam Rifkin/Michael W. Watkins

Description: Drowning in gambling debts to his bookie, Memphis (Dennis Farina), former mixed martial arts champ Eddie (Mark Feuerstein) starts training gentle giant Walter (The Big Show) for a high-stakes fighting competition with a $100,000 grand prize that would solve all of their problems.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

When a movie is full of character actors and no real stars, the film is going to be missing something. It's has nothing to do with the talent of the actors in the movie, but rather the lack of talent in the main role. A supporting actor is like a foundation, they are useless without a something for them to support; no matter how strong they are no one will notice them.

"Knucklehead" looks like a good comedy if you just read the call sheet. Between Dennis Farina, Melora Hardin and Will Patton there's enough comedic talent to produce a decent film. As I said, the failing of this movie is the casting of Paul Wight, aka WWE superstar the Big Show, and his inability to deliver a line without it looking forced. Just like in "They Live", I was surprised by this lack of line reading from a professional wrestler.

The plot of the movie was as generic as it gets, and is reminiscent of "Kingpin". Mostly in the sense that a down and out former "athlete" finds a person with a hidden talent that will help him reclaim his glory, but along the way finds out that it's more than fame and money; instead of the Amish, it's an 35-year-old guy in a Catholic children's home. In "Knucklehead",  Eddie (Feuerstein) finds himself in mounting gambling debt and needs a new fighter to win money for him.

Enter an overgrown child named Walter (Wight).

The role was perfectly suited for him from everything I'd seen him in before, especially his appearances on SNL. But somewhere there was a disconnect between Wight and Walter. It's a perfect example of how nuanced good acting is, and how playing a character like yourself in a movie is the hardest thing to do unless you Matthew McConaughey in "Dazed and Confused". Usually when an actor attempts this, he/she gets into their own head and loses any performance instincts they possess. Unfortunately because of this, he drags the entire movie down.

The plot looks more like a bunch of ideas loosely tied together. I imagine that the writers (Yes, there's three writer on this script) sat in a room and were like, 'well, what if he does this? Oh, that's good. Then, he can do that. Yeah, this is gold', and completely forgot to make a compelling story. It's like a collection of sketches, not a full movie script. It was probably fun to make, but it's torture to watch.

"Knucklehead" had a lot of advantages going for it, and failed to use any of them effectively. But I expect nothing less from a WWE produced film. This was mainly a showcase for Paul Wight, and he failed to breakout like Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) did in "Scorpion King" and "Be Cool". Fans of pro wrestling will probably enjoy it, but there no other section of the population that will find it worth their time.

Rating: 3/10 -- Generic storyline with no real drama or compelling conflict. Everything is very superficial. Had to watch "Get Shorty" to remember that Denis Farina made a good movie.

Day 71 -- They Live

Released: November 4th, 1988
    
Starring: Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster
 
Writer/Director: John Carpenter

Description: A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

This morning, I decided that I would make this week "Wrestlemania Week", and watch movies starring professional wrestlers. I've found some great ones, but I won't be spoiling the selection. Obviously, pro wrestlers are the ultimate example of let's hire someone just to make money. In some cases they are good, and in others, they are just their persona for 90 minutes. So to celebrate the self-proclaimed "Grandaddy of Them All", I will suffer through some awful movies just for you.

What better way to start this week, than with John Carpenter's cult classic (Maybe?) "They Live". The movie stars Rowdy Roddy Piper, who was one of the biggest personality in the WWF at the time, and throughout most of the mid-to-late 80s. Parodies of the film are prevalent, but probably go unrecognized, with the most notable occurring on "South Park". The Jimmy-Timmy fight was a shot-for-shot remake of the Roddy Piper-Keith David tussle in this movie. Also, I've heard people say the famous line, 'I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum', and have no idea where it's from. It's rare that a well-parodied film is so relativity unknown.

The action of the film is your standard John Carpenter, and it makes just as much sense. The action is over the top, the dialogue is poorly delivered at times, but the ending is amazing. The final scenes are one of the more enjoyable things in his movies with "Escape from New York" and "Big Trouble in Little China" immediately coming to mind. But he also tends to use his films to project some social commentary to his audience.

He tackles the issue of the consumer culture in "They Live". The story revolves around the theme that an alien race has populated Earth and is using consumerism and wealth to control humans. So with every totalitarian regime there's always something that will take them down, so in this alternate L.A., the weapon of choice is Ray-Ban Sunglasses. 

Does anyone else find it hypocritical to use a popular brand of sunglasses to defeat an alien race using people's tendency to buy brand name things? Or was that the point, and Carpenter purposely picked that contradiction?

Going in I remembered that the acting wasn't even remotely good, and it didn't disappoint. This is not meant to be taken as an insult, but Roddy Piper was at his best when he wasn't talking. He was able to express the right emotions just through body language, but when he had to deliver a line he was oddly wooden, especially since he'd done hundreds of "promos" as a wrestler. Even the bubble gum line was not perfectly read, and you would think a catchphrase like that would be perfect for a wrestler.

The rest of the cast was pretty awful with the exception of Keith David, who was his usually bad-ass looking self. He was the perfect compliment to Piper because he is what you would call a professional actor. Any misstep made by the inexperienced actor -- possibly untrained actor -- could be balanced by David natural talents as a performer.

"They Live" is campy fun. For those who love John Carpenter's films, this one is a must watch, just for the ridiculousness of the plot. Piper is admirable in it, and doesn't ruin the movie. It is a unique look into the how the concerns of Americans in the 80s are not that different than todays worries, and that we aren't living in a time without a parallel.

Rating: 4/10 -- Great movie to watch while drinking with your friends; not unlike every other John Carpenter movie. The best part of the film is Roddy Piper's totally 80s hair.

Day 70 -- Winter's Bone

Released: June 11th, 2010
   
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, John Hawkes, Garret Dillahunt, Dale Dickey
 
Writer/Director: Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini/ Debra Granik

Description: An unflinching Ozark Mountain girl hacks through dangerous social terrain as she hunts down her drug-dealing father while trying to keep her family intact.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

Prior to heading off to see "The Hunger Games", I thought I'd educate myself on the acting talents of one, Jennifer Lawrence...I'm sorry, Academy Award nominee, Jennifer Lawrence. This is not meant to be read in a mocking tone, Oscar nominees take many forms: great performance in a bad movie, standout performance in a great movie, and an alright performance in a critical darling.

"Winter's Bone" is behind door number 2. If I didn't look it up, I would have assumed that this film was made by Darren Aronofsky. It was as raw and real as "The Wrestler", and it held back no punches. There was no point in the film where co-writer/director Debra Granik took the easy way out. Some could argue the ending was a cop out, but it would have been depressing if they would have lost the house after everything the protagonist went through. When someone fights like that, there needs to be a reward.

An Ozarks mountain girl named, Ree (Lawrence), searches for her father among the meth community of Southern Missouri. Her dad is a well known "cook" among her family of crank users, dealers and cookers. After being arrested, Ree's father puts his house and land up as collateral. If he doesn't show up for court, they lose the house. This sends Ree on a chase to find her father so that she can save her family. Eventually, she finds out that he is dead because he snitched on his family to the sheriff.

Ree's extended family's heirarchy is shown as the male dominated community that it should be. These mountain communities, whether it's in the Deep South or Coal Mine areas of Appalachia, follow a very strict patriarchal lifestyle. So when Ree starts asking questions she is met with criticism and violence. The realistic portrayal of the physical and mental attack levied on Ree and the other women in the community is what makes this movie great and hard to watch at the same time.

The writers and director do not sugarcoat anything. There is no respect for women among the men, which is exhibited early on when, Teardrop (Hawkes), grabs Ree by the throat when she goes to him for help. And it really stands out when they show the beating given to her when she goes to confront the "head" of the family. Most of the time filmmakers are afraid to tell the truth in their films, especially if it's against a cultural norm, even if it means sanitizing the characters and the tone.

Living the life that Ree does, she needs to be steely and tough, but also she needs to be a believable 17-year-old girl. Lawrence goes above and beyond what is required for this character, and very much deserves her nomination. She has the uncanny ability to express the perfect emotion in a situation with out saying a word; something she continues in "The Hunger Games". It's rare that I see an actress never miss with a choice in a scene, and she does it seamlessly.  I've been in awe during this double feature, especially since the last time I saw her act, it was on "The Bill Engvall Show", and needless to say, that wasn't must see TV.

"Winter's Bone" is a critical favorite in the independent circuit, which usually peaks my interest, but few deliver on the acclaim like this movie. There is not one major misstep in the whole production, and the tone is perfect. When a film can make the world feel real, and not being filmed in front of dozens of people, it earns the ultimate respect from me: DVD purchase.

In today's world of instant viewings through either Netflix or On-Demand, spending money on physical media is scare, but in recent years I've made it a point to only buy movies if they deserved it. Soon this film will join my last three purchases -- "Inglorious Bastards", "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" and "Inception" -- in the category of films I must own on a disc.

Rating: 9/10 -- Best movie so far in the project. Performances are top-notch and the direction  is crazy good. Lawrence has officially become one of my top 5 favorite (not hottest or best) current actresses, joining Emma Stone, Helen Mirren, Brittany Robertson and Chloe Moretz. She's going to be huge.

Day 69 -- Chaos Theory

Released: April 11th, 2008
   
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Emily Mortimer, Stuart Townsend, Sarah Chalke, Elizabeth Harnois
 
Writer/Director: Daniel Taplitz/Marcos Siega

Description: The story of an obsessively organized efficiency expert whose life unravels in unexpected ways when fate forces him to explore the serendipitous nature of love and forgiveness.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

No matter how you try to dress it up, a rom-com is still a rom-com. You can give it an interesting twist, or an unlikely story or just your standard "chick-flick" (god, I hate using that term) fare. They can be dark, light, or sappy, but they will always be a rom-com.

"Chaos Theory" leaned more toward the dark side of the genre. The story was a bit more depressing than normal romantic comedies. You're basic love triangle is here, but it's not your typical triangle because there's no vieing for the woman's attention in the story. Even the few moments where it comes up, it is immediately dismissed. No, this triangle involves who's the biological father of the 7-year-old girl, and at no point does this present a serious conflict.

Corporate speaker, Frank Allen (Reynolds), is meticulous in everything he does; he makes list and begins each day with a wish. One morning, his wife, Susan (Mortimer) decides to help him by changing the time on the kitchen clock to give him more time, but she mistakenly sets it forward which makes him late. This moment sparks a downturn in Frank's life, and he realizes that everything he has done in his life has not prepared him for the chaos that is about to come.

The funny set pieces are all there: A women picks up the phone in his hotel room when his wife calls, a hospital mistakes him for the father of an abandoned baby, and no matter what he does, no one believes him. But the twist of the film occurs right after this and it's was very well done. Frank is pressured to take a DNA test to prove that he is not the father of the stranger's baby, but finds out that he is sterile and is not the father of any baby, including his daughter, Jessica. This is when the movie goes into self discovery/destruction section of the narrative.

Rom-coms depend heavily on their writing, and "Chaos Theory" suffers from a mediocre script. One of the advantages of having the subtitles on is that you get to read the words and see how generic the lines are. This movie is greatly enhanced by its actors, and their performances, than it was by how compelling the words were on the page. In a genre that relies so much on it's story, a weak script can be the death of the film.

Reynolds plays his familiar character, Ryan Reynolds. If you blindfolded me and made me listen to a generic, non-catch phrase line from any of his movies, I don't know if I'd be able to tell you what character he's portraying. Don't get me wrong, he a good actor, but he has a tendency to use the same expressions and vocal changes in every movie.

The more I watch Emily Mortimer, the higher she moves up my favorite actresses list. She is effortless in every role, and makes me care about her character, which is exactly what a performer needs to do. She's also one of those women that becomes prettier the longer she is on screen. She has a very natural beauty that tricks your brain into thinking she's real and not a character being portrayed by an actress. Underrated might by too nice of a way to describe how overlooked she is in Hollywood.

"Chaos Theory" is a rom-com that tries so hard to not be a rom-com, but becomes the most rom-comiest, rom-com I've seen in this project. It tries to be dark with the paternity storyline, but they take the conflict out of it by making conception occur before Frank and Susan were together. There's only one dramatic fight between opposite sexes in the movie, and it's the most white washed thing in the film. I wouldn't be surprised if the movie was noted to death by producers who couldn't agree on what direction the film should take.

Rating: 5/10 -- Average at best, but worth viewing if you are a fan of Reynolds, Mortimer, or you are female. Best part of the movie for me was the surprise cameo from one of my underrated hotties, Elizabeth Harnois, who played the couple's grown-up daughter.

Day 68 -- The Secret

Released: August 12th, 2008
   
Starring: Olivia Thirlby, David Duchovny, Lili Taylor
 
Writer/Director: Ann Cherkis/Vincent Perez

Description: A wife and mother passes away, and her spirit returns in her daughter's body.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

It was kind of convenient that two body switching movies ended up back to back, and I thank the Netflix gods for it. Watching different types of body switching has given me some perspective on what is good and bad about the genre. It's just like every other type of film, and may not be as much of a crutch as I originally thought.

"The Secret" is the best straight to DVD film I've ever seen. The story is complex and compelling and the performances are fantastic. It takes body switching  to a place where it can tell a good story, and not a cliche plot. After a car accident, Hannah (Taylor) injects her daughter, Samantha (Thirlby), with her conscience so that she can live. The movie continues on as most mother-daughter body switching movies do, but without the annoying older actress trying to be "young" (looking at you, Jamie Lee Curtis).

The slow transition of Hannah as Sam from scared to enjoyment is well paced. The 91 minute running time was perfect; even a minute longer would have been overkill. They end the story right, and somehow trims any meaningless scenes.  Each moment propels the movie to the next action or conflict, and they avoided the trap of using sex, whether it be adulterous or incestuous, to create conflict.

This movie would be nothing without the breakout performance from one of my favorites, Olivia Thirlby. She portrayed two completely different characters, and didn't look out of place in either role. This is usually the big flaw with body-switching movie: one of the actors can't play the opposite role. Either the teen actor can't reproduce the complex emotions of a middle age woman, or the older actress plays a parody of a teen. 

The exclusion of the second body in this film is how "Secret" separates itself from other movies like it. There's even a lack of a dialogue between the affected parties, which is the twist of "Dream a Little Dream". The lack of this narrative crutch is what enhanced my interest in the movie. Even the ending was precise and understandable. The idea of "Hannah" while she is still Sam making a videotape was ingenious and was the perfect way to have the moment of understanding between the body-switchers without some weird ghost scene.

"The Secret" is one of those films that fell through the cracks for reason unknown. There is nothing about this film that should have forced it to be a direct-to-video film. The direction was solid, the music and visuals were great, and the performances of Duchovny and Thirlby were sublime. The writing wasn't Oscar-worthy, but it was a B+ and should have caught someone's eye. It reminded me that "Deadfall"got a theatrical release, but this movie is probably in the three-dollar bin at Best Buy.

Rating: 7/10 -- If you aren't convinced that Thirlby is a talented actress after this film, then you should stop watching movies. There's no stand out emotional moment, but rather it's a slow build that draws you in and makes you want to care about the outcome.

Day 67 -- Dream a Little Dream

Released: March 3rd, 1989
   
Starring: Coery Feldman, Corey Haim, Meredith Salenger
 
Writer/Director: Daniel Jay Franklin, Marc Rocco and D.E. Eisenberg/Marc Rocco

Description: The elderly Coleman (Jason Robards) and the young and brash Bobby (Corey Feldman) learn what life is like from each others point of view when their bodies are unwittingly switched by way of transcendental meditation.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

I still don't get the appeal of body switching movies. It seems like a narrative crutch that a writer uses to inspire a story idea, instead of telling an original story. And the late 80s were ground zero for the genre.

"Dream a Little Dream" could arguably be the best Coreys film with some votes going to "License to Drive", which isn't saying much given their catalog. For those of you screaming, 'What about "The Lost Boys"?', the Coreys play a supporting role to Jason Patrtic and are not the stars. 1989 was the height of their fame and the tipping point of their careers.

The opening of the movie is very confusing and it takes an explanation by Corey Feldman after the switch occurs to allow the audience to get its bearings. As I understood it, Coleman (Robards) conducts an experiment that goes wrong and he becomes Bobby (Feldman) and a piece of his wife, Gina (Piper Laurie), is inside Lainie (Salenger). It's an intriguing idea that gets off on the wrong foot in the first act and recovers slightly in the second act, but not enough to be compelling. 

Compared to future performances by the Coreys, this is the best and most consistent acting they've ever done. Feldman is both charming and funny in the dual roles, but is still very 80s in everything he does, including a dance number where he imitates Michael Jackson. Haim, again shows off the glimmer of talent that drugs destroyed. It's really a shame that both of these guys got way too wrapped up in the fame and short circuited their careers.

The supporting cast was nothing to write home about, but I can't ignore the performance turned in by Salenger. She is beautiful in the film, and not in that big hair 80s hot, and is sublime as Lainie. She gives enough believability to the character that we never question when she begins to believe Bobby. She is the real star of this film because her role is the most memorable.

The writing and direction are not award-winning, but it is solid enough that it isn't labeled with the stigma of an 80s movie. The movie still has it decade stereotypes, such as half-shirts, full-body leotards with leg warmers, and terrible hairstyles. But they don't depend on it to sell the movie, which allows it to feel more natural than just an advertisement for whatever was popular at the time. The writing has its holes, but after you figure out what's going on, everything else flows.

"Dream a Little Dream" is not a classic movie by any stretch, but it deserves more respect than it gets from audiences. It's not a perfect concept, but there are so few original ideas in the genre. The film is also another reminder of how addiction can derail even the most talented people.

Rating: 5.5/10 -- Fun movie if you get past the first few minutes of the film. The Coreys and Salenger do a marvelous job of making the characters feel natural and realistic. Should be a part of an 80s movie night.

Day 66 -- Tart

Released: April 23rd, 2002
    
Starring: Dominique Swain, Mischa Barton, Brad Renfro, Bijou Phillips, Lacey Chabert
 
Writer/Director: Christina Wayne

Description: After becoming part of the snooty in crowd at school, 16-year-old Cat Storm ends up involved in a depraved world of drug use, sex and -- during a weekend at a well-appointed country estate -- a grisly murder.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

At some point, these private school movies start to run together, and now I have only made things more complicated by adding another film. They follow the same structure: some bad, influential crowd persuades an outside girl or boy by using drugs, alcohol or sex, and once they give into to the vice, everything spins out of control. It's their punishment for sacrificing their principles.

"Tart" is an R-rated movie version of "Gossip Girl", and I wouldn't be surprised if some of the same sets were used. Cat Storm (Swain) dislikes the popular and more privileged clique because of the way they treat her friend, Dehlia Milford (Phillips). But after Dehlia gets expelled from their school, Cat befriends U.K. transfer, Grace (Barton), and the ones she used to hate. Eventually, she soon loses herself and what's important.

The film does one thing that those of us who try to write teenage characters and their situations, it tries to make things seem more important than they are. In an effort to make the story more edgy, so that it is not considered fluff, writers tend to over-exaggerate what goes on. Sure, kids use drugs and alcohol, but it is odd that things get so crazy over a short period of time. Maybe I'm wrong, but its overdone in my eyes.

This also goes for the anti-Semitic tone of the film. It's way too obvious, and thankfully, I guess, I've never seen it to this level. It felt like they were in the first half of last century, and not the early part of the 2000s. The first thought that came to mind was that the writer watched "School Ties" and then, wrote this script because the prejudice seemed out-of-place. Again, correct me if I'm wrong. Also, the movie's plot could have done without it.

With a story that looked like it didn't know where it belonged, the performances needed to save it, but they were just as much a part of this movie's problem. Swain gives her character no emotional depth, and this was the beginning of the end for Renfro's acting career. Barton was adequate in her small role, and the supporting cast of Lacey Chabert and Nora Zehetner -- and the indistinguishable male actors -- added nothing to the movie. The only character that was given any nuance was Phillips' Dehlia. Not know for her acting, Phillips gave the most compelling performance, despite her little screen time.

The cinematography and direction looked straight out of a Lifetime Movie of the Week. There was no polish to it at all, and lacked the charm that an independent film should have. Everything was stale and stiff, even the party scenes were too static for the material. When the other two aspects of a film (acting, writing) are lacking, the tone and setting need to keep the audience interested. But it's no surprise that both the direction and writing are poor since Christina Welsh served both roles. There's never a mediocre writer/director, they're either terrible or brilliant; with little in between.

"Tart" is a movie that tried to cash in on a seemingly bottomless well of people who enjoy private school movies, and the producers hoped to ride the coattails of "Cruel Intentions". Probably would have had more success as a made for TV movie, but again the writer was more worried about losing respect from critics, then trying to find the right audience for the material. And that insecurity loses people a lot of money.

Rating: 4/10 -- Boring movie set in a world that needs to be more exciting for the conflicts that it presents. Felt like it was this woman's "Medellin".

Where exactly do you hide 500 people?

On this week's show we dissect the logistics of a 500 person human centipede, learn more about the sketch comedy group "Shoot the Glass", and a new victim goes under the bright lights of the interrogation.

The Rundown:

Intro
Week In Review
Interview w/ Shoot the Glass member, Anthony
Interrogation
Final Thoughts

Also, a correction on the mention of reviews for Sunday, an unexpected event came up and these will now be the Monday and Tuesday reviews.

Be sure to tune in next week as Mel returns for our review of the next new phenomenon, "The Hunger Games". Hopefully, it's not as insufferable as "Twilight".

Day 65 -- Home Room

NOTE: THERE WILL BE NO REVIEW TOMORROW. SO GO ENJOY ST. PATRICK'S DAY. THERE WILL BE TWO REVIEWS ON SUNDAY.

Released: September 5th, 2003
   
Starring: Busy Phillips, Erika Christensen, Victor Garber, Raphael Sbarge, Ken Jenkins
 
Writer/Director: Paul F. Ryan

Description: A high school shooting has repercussions on the town and students.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

Before 9/11, most of us had another tragedy that we knew where we were when we first heard about it: Columbine. I was on a school field trip to Washington D.C., and remember that the flags were at half-staff, but I had no idea why. I'm sure there were school shooting before and since, but except for Virginia Tech, none affected me as much.

"Home Room" was obviously a movie inspired by these events. The movie opens with the aftermath of a school shooting, in which the perpetrator didn't shoot at random, but rather, targeted specific students. For those looking for a movie about the events of a school shooting, you will be disappointed. A solid portion of the movie is dedicated to the unlikely bond formed by suspected "accomplice" Alisha (Phillips) and only surviving victim, Deanna (Christensen), and the forced police investigation by Det. Martin Van Zandt (Best Detective Name Ever!), played by Victor Garber.

The storytelling was fabulous as all three characters mention previously were portraying a different question that we have after these tragedies.  Alisha, the only witness to the massacre, is the 'what would happen if you saw classmates die in front of you?; Deanna, the only survivor, is the 'How do you recover after you almost died?', and Van Zandt, the local detective, is the 'who's to blame for this? How can we stop it?'. To their credit, each actor is marvelous in their respective roles. With that said, I am curious to see if a stronger actress, like Rachel McAdams, would have done better than Christensen, who is an average actress at best.

Despite her limitations, I think Busy Phillips was incredible in this film. She knew exactly when to make her character sarcastic, and when to bring out the emotion. She did miss on occasion, but did a great job not giving away the twist with Alisha. Even though she played the role well, I still imaged what the role could have been with a better actress. 

Even in a limited role, Garber was his classy self. The veteran actor, most known for "Alias" and "Titanic", brings a professionalism to every character he portrays, and the detective forced to find someone to blame needed the grounded and posh attitude that he gave it. He had to be sympathetic, not over-bearing, which a lesser actor could have easily done. Garber is one of the best character actor currently working, and should be recognized more.

The most impressive thing I found with this movie was the writing. It was almost perfect for the subject, as it was more about the effect of a situation like Columbine. They didn't shy away from a  sensitive subject, even though I thought they could have went further, and didn't over-dramatize the pain they were feeling. The only fault I found was the side story of Alisha losing her baby, it didn't seem to have any connection the main story. Also, it wasn't a major thing, but I wish they could have revealed why Deanna was targeted, unless I missed the implied reason.

"Home Room", while not an award-winning film, should be viewed by everyone that was in high school during Columbine. This, along with the school shooting episode of "One Tree Hill", should be required viewing for all high school students. It's a shame what our culture has become. Paraphrasing Det. Van Zandt: "When I was their age, I was teased. Then, one day I decided I had enough, and I used my fist to end it. Today, they use guns." It's sad but true.

Rating: 7/10 -- Great storytelling with some genius foreshadow moments. Solid acting from more or less unknown actors. It's the way this subject should be shown, and I wish there were more like it.

Day 64 -- The Human Centipede

Released: April 28th, 2010
   
Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie
 
Writer/Director: Tom Six

Description: A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a new "pet"-- a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others' rectums.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

There is a niche market for everything, of this I am sure. Every movie that is made has an audience, even "Material Girls" starring the Duff Sister has an audience. So every time you see an advertisement for a movie and you think, 'how was that movie funded?', someone else has already saved that date in their Google Calender.

"Human Centipede", and it's sequels (yes, they are making a third one), are a disturbing example of this phenomenon. This movie disgust me in multiple ways. Some are obvious, and other are more of a pet-peeve. The first 25 minutes of the movie with the ditzy American tourists was the worst acting/writing combination that I've seen in a long time. If I didn't have to watch this, I would have turned it off immediately.

For those of you that are uninformed -- God bless you if you are -- the film involves former surgeon, Dr. Heiter (Laser), who dreams of creating a human centipede, which involved connecting three or more people's digestive tracks together. Most of the movies disturbing moments come from just the idea of what that means because there isn't much in terms of graphic viewing of the actual connection. Everything is really implied because the parts that would be vulgar is covered by a bandage. It does one thing I like in movies, and that is, the scares are from the action on screen instead of something popping out of the dark.

There is really no way to comment on the acting because most of the actors are mute, and the head of the centipede is screaming in Japanese the entire movie. Laser was very convincing as an evil scientist, but it wasn't an amazing performance. The movie was definitely made based on the concept, and not whether or not the acting was any good.

To be honest, the movie is much more over-hyped than is necessary. It's a terrible concept, and the fact that someone would think of this bothers me more than the stuff in the movie. Maybe I've become desensitized (I've seen Two Girls, One Cup) and this doesn't affect me. But I've seen more gore in a slasher film, or a "Saw" movie than this film. Sure, the idea of what was going on is the repulsive part, but it's not like they show it occurring (not that I want them to), so the outrage from some is over the top.

With that said, I don't think "Human Centipede" should have been made. There's no real art in it at all. Its only reason to exist is for shock value, and nothing else. And just for this, it will sadly find an audience. While it won't ruin your life, like the previously mentioned viral video, the concept is disturbing enough that it may stick with some for a while. 

Rating: 3/10 -- Not as life-ruining as I thought going in, but I could have went without seeing it. I've seen better line reading in porn, and better acting in a high school play. Really a waste of the film it was made on.

Day 63 -- Wristcutters: A Love Story

Released: November 2nd, 2007
  
Starring: Patrick Fugit, Shannyn Sossamon, Shea Whigham, Tom Waits, Leslie Bibb, Will Arnett
 
Writer/Director: Goran Dukic

Description: A film set in a strange afterlife way station that has been reserved for people who have committed suicide.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

One aspect of this project that I hadn't considered going in was that some films tend to expire off of Netflix Instant without much warning. This was the main catalyst for the first last two reviews this week. While, I could have done without seeing "Summer's Moon", I'm glad I caught this movie before it went off into the ether.

"Wristcutters: A Love Story" is a quirky, interesting comedy that makes the audience think. Goran Dukic does a great job of creating this alternate universe where suicide victims go when they die. Every little nuisance about the world is perfect, from the no smiling to the lack of stars in the sky, each choice he made in tone was terrific. Even the dull grey tones in most of the locations helped the audience to get a grasp of the setting.

The interesting thing in this movie is that they don't show any signs of a" woe is me" attitude from the inhabitants. They are mostly pissed off that they are stuck there but they know it's because of their own doing. This is why Mikal (Sossamon) is an outlier; she doesn't believe she belongs there. As the story progresses, we eventually find out why: She OD'd, which technically isn't suicide.

Zia (Fugit) -- Ok, slight tangent here, I know writers hate to use generic names, but why do we have to go to the extreme sometimes. Honestly, how many Zia's do you know? At least make it a name that I've heard before. -- Zia has settled into his mundane life in this purgatory with his Russian friend, Eugene (Whigham). That is until a chance encounter with Jake Busey (I know that's not the character's name, but I imagine it was really Jake Busey), and finds out his ex-girlfriend, Desiree (Bibb), killed her self, too. Thus, begins the road trip portion of the movie which culminates with a great performance by Will Arnett as Messiah.

Along the way Mikal and Zia fall in love, which wasn't really obvious to me until the final scenes. I don't know if I completely missed it or they were so subtle with it that it was genius. Maybe it was because their relationship felt right, and I wasn't forced to accept it. It was just one part of a good script that didn't need to oversell the concept because it made the world feel real. Even the ridiculous ending with the PIC (People in Charge) breaking up a camp was well integrated into the narrative.

Fugit and Whigman's chemistry was the most important aspect of the movie because half of it is pretty much a road movie. Zia and Eugene travel on the road and get into all kinds of high-jinks. Their timing and ability to show emotion with just a look needed to be spot on because two guys talking in a car non-stop for 40-minutes is boring to watch. The device of the black hole under the car's passenger seat was used just enough to avoid reaching beating a dead horse level. The credit for that has to belong to Fugit and Whigman as they kept each scene involving the hole new and refreshing.

"Wristcutters" is a movie I'd put in a category with "Idocracy", in the sense that it introduced this high-concept alternate word that was interesting and didn't feel rehashed. It was a film the engaged me and gave me some some hope that I may find some hidden gems during this project.

Rating: 7.5/10 -- Well written and well thought out concept. May cause me to search out the short story on which it was based. Good example of a well acted movie that didn't have any A-list actors, and I hope more people give it a chance.

Day 62 -- Summer's Moon

Released: November 10th, 2009
 
Starring: Ashley Greene, Peter Mooney, Barbara Niven
 
Writer/Director: Sean Hogan and Christine Conradt/Lee Demarbre

Description: A family of serial killers stalk a young woman out to find the father she's never known.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

If there's one genre that filmakers always feel they can make, its horror. Every film student believes some good editing and creepy music, and they can be the next George A. Romero. But there's a lot more to the horror genre than jump scares and a mysterious story, and those that do it well know the intricacies that are needed for the movie to be entertaining.

"Summer's Moon", well, is pretty awful. It's boring, and the script is bad even if this was a campy horror film. The twist of the story is so telegraphed because she meets no one else in town. They don't even allow enough time for you to consider some other outcome. Summer (Greene) has hitch-hiked to a small town in search of her father, who just happens to be the patriarch of a serial killer family.  Her "brother" Tom (Mooney) inadvertently kidnaps her, and they begin to have a sexual relationship. He ends up dying to save her because despite his psychosis he believes that they are in love.

The incest might be the least repulsive thing about this film. The script, direction, lighting and acting are all worse than the fact that a brother and sister have sex multiple times. There is no pacing whatsoever, and they eliminated an interesting B plot in about 90 seconds. It tries to be creepy, but it comes off as really tiresome. There are interesting ideas, but they poorly executed.

It's movies like this that make you think, someone actually sat in a room, heard this pitch, and decided to commit real money to it. It's infuriating and funny at the same time. Now, I don't expect all horror movies to be "Night of the Living Dead" in terms of quality, but if they're not going to be good then they need to be a good B-movie. A good recent example of being campy good is "Slither", and if you haven't seen this movie yet, stop reading this review and watch it, because that film is much better than anything I have to say about "Summer's Moon".

Ashley Greene, of "Twilight" fame (check out the poster), is the lead in this film, which is what made me curious about it. As I stated in an earlier review, I have a curiosity about seeing actors that have starred in huge phenomenons, and "Twilight" may be the biggest one. Outside of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, who both appear to be legitimate actors, the rest of the cast are all dreadfully bad, or think they're better than they are. Greene is no different, as she reads her lines so woodenly (new word!) that I don't know if she was taking it seriously.

"Summer's Moon" is a perfect example of a director and a writer trying to imitate films they enjoyed as a kid. Hey, filmakers, stop trying to sample every horror movie you've ever seen and try to create something new. As good as remakes can be, I want to see a new embodiment of evil, and I want it to be a human. Also, it needs to be closer to a thriller than "Saw" because gratuitous violence like that doesn't work for me.  Honestly, I'll take anything, if it means movies like "Summer Moon" are never made.

Rating: 2.5/10 -- Waste of time. Even a sex scene with Ashley Greene didn't help this movie.

Day 61 -- Elizabethtown

Released: October 14th, 2005

Starring: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, Jessica Biel

Writer/Director: Cameron Crowe

Description: During an outrageous memorial for a Southern patriarch, an unexpected romance blooms between a young woman and man.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

There is always one thing about a Cameron Crowe movie: the soundtrack is going to fit the movie like a glove. After witnessing a movie like "Deadfall" failing on so many levels, it was nice to see a film that excels at one. Crowe's films immediately draw you in because they always feel so familiar.

"Elizabethtown" is no different. Everything from the score to the choice of quiet rock songs helped to set the tone for this small town in rural Kentucky. The story begins with Drew Baylor (Bloom) on the verge of suicide after his shoe design fails, but before he can off himself, he receives news that his father has died. So he puts off his plans, and goes get his father's body in Elizabethtown, Kentucky and bring him back to Oregon.

Once Drew arrives in Elizabethtown, he learns that the town is as equal parts as bad as his mother thinks it is, and not as bad as she thinks it is. The charming southern town invites him in and tries to persuade him to let them bury his father in their family plot. But behind all of the family background stuff, the film is really about Drew finding himself in an unlikely place with a flight attendant named, Claire (Dunst).

Another thing Crowe does extremely well is create amazing chemistry between the two romantic leads. It also helped that Bloom and Dunst look good together, and don't have many awkward moments. That doesn't mean they were perfect, but the flaws were what made the movie feel realistic. The relationship blossomed perfectly and was really the heart of the movie. When this occurs, it's always a combination of the script and the actors. 

A movie like "Elizabethtown" needs that chemistry, along with a likeability from the actors, to be watchable. This isn't just the responsibility of Dunst and Bloom, but the entire supporting cast, and somehow Crowe always finds a way to surround the protagonist with memorable characters. In this film it's Drew's cousin Jesse (Paul Schneider), who gave the movie the right kind of comedic balance.

Dunst is always a tough actress to judge. She can be utterly charming, as she was in this movie, and hard to watch as she was in Marie Antoinette, but all in all she is a pretty good actress. Looking over her filmography, the percentage of good performances to forgettable ones is very high, which was much different than I remembered. Sometimes I think my enjoyment of her films, as shallow as it sounds, depends on how cute she is in the movie, which is why "Spiderman", "Bring it On", and "Virgin Suicides" are always remembered fondly by me despite the quality of the film, and "Crazy/Beautiful" is not. She's very underrated.

"Elizabethtown" is a film that I will watch no matter when it comes on. This is just one of those films that makes you feel good because of the music, especially since it is not as pretentious about it as "High Fidelity". It's also a movie that some people will vehemently dislike, and that understandable because it an evenly paced story that's more character driven then plot driven; some people like structure over good storytelling. This is probably one of the few films that I may be out of step with most, and I don't care. If the ending doesn't draw emotion out of you, then I don't think you're alive.

Rating: 7/10 -- I really enjoyed the storytelling, and feel it's a much deeper movie than people think. Great soundtrack, and great performances from two actor who are underrated. My favorite Cameron Crowe movie.

J-Lo Shouldn't Wear White Pants

On this week's show we dissect Nick Cage Week, American Idol's Top-13, and the tables are turned as Mark gets interrogated.

The Rundown:

Intro
Week In Review
American Idol
Nick Cage/Kick Ass
Interrogation
Final Thoughts

Only one apology this week, and that is the ringing phone near the end. We hadn't informed everyone that we were recording, and a family member decided it was a good time to call the landline (yes, Mel still has one) instead of our cell phones. Hope it's not too loud!

We are still trying to work out the logistics for next week, and hope to have a podcast, but if not tune in for our review of "The Hunger Games" when we should have some special guests.

Day 60 -- Deadfall

Released: October 8th, 1993

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Michael Biehn, James Colburn, Sarah Trigger

Writer/Director: Christopher Coppola and Nick Vallelonga/Christopher Coppola

Description: After he accidentally kills his father, Mike, during a sting, Joe tries to carry out Mike's dying wish by recovering valuables that Mike's twin brother Lou stole from him years earlier.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

Well, this movie is the perfect ending to Nick Cage week. It had three factors that made it memorable: Terrible writing, terrible acting, and the most ridiculous Cage performance on his resume. I don't even know what to say about this "film".

"Deadfall" was co-written and directed by Cage's brother, Christopher Coppola. The story is that Chris and Nick used to shoot super-8 films as children, with the former directing and writing the score. Knowing that does help to explain why this movie is so poor, it felt like a film that you shoot with out any oversite or notes.

The film's plot involves twin brothers, who are both con-artists, and "cake".  At least that's what I picked up. But in all seriousness, the plot involves a diamond theft (I think?), but Joe (Biehn) is scammed by his Uncle Joe (Colburn). There are so many plot twist and flat out stupidity that the best way to sum it up is to let the Web site Ruined Endings (try?) to explain it.

"Joe Dolan did not fatally shoot his dad Mike, his old man faked his death to sabotage his brother Lou's diamond con with Dr. Lyme allowing Mike to pocket a cool $2 million from Lyme. Lou is killed in a shoot out with Lyme's followers and Joe learns that not only was Patsy (who was in the scam that 'took' Mike's life) in on it, but so was Diane who's (closet wig-wearing) beau...Eddie got boiled to death by Joe. Needless to say Joe's not amused at his pa and empties the cash out onto the streets leaving his delightful dad cursing him as he frantically scrabbles to pick up his wayward cash."

So, yeah that happened.

More importantly, I am discouraged by this poor attempt at a Film Noir. Everything about it is poorly executed, and would even be a bad parody movie. For a person that has experience with music scores, Chris Coppola dropped the ball on this one. The music is out of place as it tries to give a contemporary Noir sound to the film.

Each actor in the film was a different level of terrible. Biehn was the least atrocious, as he has the look and mannerisms to succeed in this type of film, but none of the talent. Taggart wasn't even close to passable as the femme-fatale as her motives were too obvious and any halfway intelligent man would have seen through them. The movie was saved by the fabulously awful performance by Cage, and the equally entertaining turn by Charlie Sheen. Those two appear to know that the movie was bad, and were looking to entertain themselves.

This movie is most blatant example of the notion that it's who you know in Hollywood, not how good you are, but I guess that's true in all walks of life. A few fun facts about "Deadfall", it currently holds a "0%" on Rotten Tomatoes, and it has the honor of having a "3.8" on IMDB. Even "Southland Tales" is over a 5 rating. With all of the panning it received, I have to believe that it was the Coppola name that got the movie released.

"Deadfall" probably wouldn't even have been well received in a pretentious film school class. It's an untalented writer and director trying to emulate the films he loved as a child, like Rob Zombie did in the Horror genre. Only Cage's outrageous performance as Mike makes this movie watchable because it will get you some cheap laughs.

Rating: 1/10 -- I've already spent too many words on this.

Day 59 -- 8MM

Released: February 26th, 1999

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Joaquin Phoenix, James Gandolfini, Catherine Keener

Writer/Director: Andrew Kevin Walker/Joel Schmaker

Description: A private investigator is hired to discover if a "snuff film" is authentic or not.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

After watching their most recent collaboration, I thought it would be interesting to go back to the first one. Joel Schmaker and Nick Cage wasted a lot of a studio's money by creating "Trespass", so I wanted to see what they had done together that would give them the leverage. Unfortunately, I'm still looking for that answer.

"8MM" was a movie that tackled a strange subject that would lead one to believe it was more graphic than its finished product. Cage plays private detective, Tom Welles, who is sucked into the investigation of a possible "snuff-film". For those uneducated, a "snuff-film" -- in short -- is one where a real murder is caught on tape or film. During his investigation, Welles delves deep into the world of underground pornography, which "snuff-films" are a part of, and runs in to a producer who creates violent films starring a masked man named "The Machine" (not Pat Burrell). 

Welles eventually figures out that the film is real and brings the villains to justice. The story is alright in spots, but it still followed the pattern of Cage films after "Leaving Las Vegas". I know I'm probably beating a dead horse by now, but it seemed to be a distinct moment in his career where he felt it was important to overact than actually embody the character. Even his reactions to the "film", are a bit over the top when just the idea of the situation should have been enough to prompt the audiences emotions.

The performances were all pretty average, and James Gandolfini really showed his range by playing a sleaze porn recruiter (/sarcasm). The one thing I can say is that it appeared they were all trying to do a good job, and no one was really mailing it in, but the characters really didn't give them much depth to explore. It's one of those cases where the story wasn't strong enough for the talent involved.

The writing on its own was fine. No big plot holes, but the story did get a little crazy near the end. I chalk that up to the writer believing that the movie was moving too slow, and needed to end with a bang. A little more action earlier would have help the films pacing to the climax, but the slow story telling in the first 40 minutes made it feel like two different film when the action was introduced.

The tone and the direction was much better than "Trespass" and helped get me into the movie. It's amazing how something like cinematography, which goes unnoticed by most, makes the difference when a movie is mediocre on all other fronts. I don't know if this means Schmaker has gotten worse as a director, or he picked the wrong cinematographer when he made "Trespass" in 2011.

"8MM" is an enjoyable film, but doesn't stand out enough to be a must watch. It was good to be able to compare this to a movie like "Snake Eyes", which was also dependent on mystery,  and see how the tone of each movie ultimately played a part in the quality of the film.

 Rating: 6/10 -- Solid movie with quality actors, but an average script. A controlled performance by Cage helps the film. Sure, he goes off the rails at times, but it's Cage. The subject matter deserved a better, deeper story.

Day 58 -- Tresspass

Released: October 14th, 2011

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Nicole Kidman, Cam Gigandet, Ben Mendelsohn, Jordana Spiro

Writer/Director: Karl Gajdusek/Joel Schumacher

Description: As they're held for ransom, a husband and wife's predicament grows more dire amid the discovery of betrayal and deception.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

After watching a film that showcased Cage's skills as an actor, it was disappointing to follow that up with a borderline unwatchable film. The home invasion movies are always dumb because there's only so much story you can tell in one location. "Panic Room" is the closest to being a good story for this sub-genre.

"Trespass" is a limited release film that really shouldn't have been green-lit to begin with. There are no original ideas to be found in the 90-plus minute running time. Even the attempted twist are poorly thought out and become convoluted by the end of the film. The most impressive one was rendered moot by the final twist.

The Miller family is held for ransom in the home by four thugs that all have their own motives. While in theory this is appears to be a fresh take, the execution is poor. The leader is there to pay off a debt, his brother is in love with Sarah (Kidman), his girlfriend is a junkie, and a hired gun of the dealer that the leader owes money, and they don't add another more depth to the characters. There are feigned attempts to add back story, but each one is dumber and more predictable than the last. 

It didn't help that none of the actors that played the thugs were any good. Jordana Spiro, who I absolutely loved in "My Boys", was completely miscast as the junkie girlfriend, and Cam Gigandet looked like he was going to cry the entire movie, which was awful for that character. In Gigandet's case, I wonder if he thought being on the verge of crying was a good why to show a psychotic break, but it was a terrible choice nonetheless. The leader played by Ben Mendelsohn was really bad, and his shouting matches with Cage made laugh instead of feel tense.

Acting is only one piece of a poorly constructed film, writing is probably the biggest one, and this script should have been lit on fire. The dialogue held no consequence and the conflicts were more forced than natural. There were way too many twist in the plot, and at no point did you feel the villains could get away with it. But it didn't start so bad, the first "shocking" moment was that Kyle (Cage) had nothing in his safe, and was broke. This was different, but they threw it away by having Gigandet find a stack of money hidden in an unfinished wall. Talk about cliché.

The look of the film was boring as well. The Miller's lived in this beautiful modern house that was barely shown off, and the rooms shown were dark and bleak. I'm sure the movie's tone was part of the reason for this, but during the first act, they had ample time to display their wealth. Also, they gave us no reason to believe that the dealer's hired goon wouldn't have killed everyone after learning that Kyle had nothing in the safe. There was no reason for his mercy, especially after we learned that they had already recovered the lost drugs. All around poor job of story telling.

On the Cage front, he did his recent line reading choice of either screaming or whispering every line of dialogue. I assume his character was supposed to be a hustler, but Nick kept fluctuating him between a crazy person and someone scared shitless. Even for 21st century Cage, this was an awful decision. 

"Trespass" was a bad attempt to be a psychological action thriller. Even "The Ref" had more tension than this movie. It's a shame, Cage and Kidman have reached that point in their careers where they mail in performances to get paycheck, but here we are. This is the perfect example of a movie ruined because of its lack of a strong supporting cast, and should reenforce to every director and casting department that it's more than the marquee names that make a film watchable.

 Rating: 3.5/10 -- Terrible, terrible movie. It was essentially 90 minutes of screaming and Nick Cage in over-sized glasses. The character of the daughter was vastly under used and really could have been left out, which again points to both bad writing and bad casting.

Day 57 -- Kick Ass

Released: April 16th, 2010

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Chloe Moretz, Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Lyndsy Fonseca

Writer/Director: Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman/Matthew Vaughn

Description: Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a super-hero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

With all the rumors swirling around the time of the last Superman movie, most surprising was the casting of Nick Cage as the man of steel. At the time, Cage's body of work didn't make him an obvious choice for the role, especially since he hadn't starred in an action movie of note. The only way he would have been successful was if it was more of a character study than a superhero movie.

"Kick Ass" was that character study/superhero movie. Cage plays "Big Daddy", or former cop Daemon McCready, who's wife committed suicide. He blamed the evil crime boss, Frank D'Amico (Strong) for the tragedy, so after quitting the force he trains his daughter, "Hit Girl" Mindy (Moretz) to be a father-daughter crime fighting duo. This is where they meet lonely teen, Dave Lizewski (Johnson), who after a freak accident becomes impervious to pain and bone breaking. He decides to use this to his advantage and fight crime; that's when he gets roped into the McCready's mission.

The breakout star was the amazing Chole Moretz. She made you forget that she was a pre-teen saying adult language. She was perfect in the whole movie, and gave the movie some emotional depth that I thin would have been missing without her. As good as Aaron Johnson was, his story line wasn't as deep as Moretz' and the movie would have just bee superficial. The McCready's chemistry is the heart of this movie, and they carry the film.

Cage did everything just ridiculous enough that it was interesting and not eye-rollingly stupid. From his mustache to his open scene of him shooting Mindy, he embodies everything that a person trying to be a real-life superhero should have, including an Adam West voice.

Even though this is Nick Cage week and the fact that this movie is much different from the others I'm watching this week (it's good), I must talk about the great direction of Matthew Vaughn. I absolutely love the introduction of "Hit Girl". Everything from the music to the awesome action to the nonchalant attitude displayed by Moretz is pitch perfect. And every scene from there makes us root for them even though they are psychotic. His choice to show the McCready's backstory through a graphic novel style montage was ballsy, but brilliant; it was the ultimate show don't tell.

Most of the time casting directors don't get the credit they deserve, or even the recognition. But Sarah Finn and Lucinda Syson, need to be commended for the supporting cast they put together. Every character is this film was almost perfect, and it really helps the movie separate from your typical parody, or superhero movie.

"Kick Ass" is the first movie in a while that I believe deserved a sequel. The story felt like the beginning of a trilogy. I'm not sure if the movie was profitable enough to warrant it, but the material is there. I'm sure you could bring back most of the main cast since most of them have yet to reach too high of a level of salary, and most would relish the chance to tackle this subject again. It could be a great showcase for Moretz as she transitions in to more adult roles, especially since they already laid the ground work for her character's ascension to top notch heroine.

This was a surprise hit and one I wanted to showcase this week because Cage tends to get raked over the coals for his script choices, and this one was a brilliant decision. It shows that when Cage is at the top of his game, his one of the top actors out. It's just a shame that he has been so inconsistent since "Leaving Las Vegas" because he could have been one of the greats.

Rating: 8/10 -- Great film with a high rewatchability. The main actors all bring something different to the table and work really well together. Matthew Vaughn's action scenes are the best I've seen in a while, and really help take this movie over the top.

Day 56 -- Snake Eyes

Released: August 7th, 1998

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Gary Sinise, John Heard, Carla Gugino

Writer/Director: David Koepp/Brian De Palma

Description: A shady police detective finds himself in the middle of a murder conspiracy at an important boxing match in an Atlantic City casino.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

 

I would like to revise my statement from the last review and say that Cage's turn as Det. Rick Santoro is the perfect Nick Cage role. He gets to freak out a lot, while being the sleaziest cop on the planet, or better known as an Atlantic City Police detective. He plays the comedy as well as the drama, but sometimes it's harder to know which to laugh at.

"Snake Eyes" is a conspiracy/action movie set in a soon to close arena on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. Santoro's friend, Lieutenant Dan...err, Commander Kevin Dunne (Sinise), has concocted a mass conspiracy to ensure the passage of a missile defense program, which includes killing the Secretary Charles Kirkland. The movie plays out like a typical piece together mystery movie, even though some things are way more obvious than the movie wants them to be. Even the most naive audience member could tell that Dunne's story was bullshit, and therefore knew he was involved.

Sinise's performance of the villain was one of the better roles that he is not remembered for, but he does a great job of going from honorable to evil with very reasonable choices. Even when Cage does his flamboyant act in the first act of the movie, Sinise is very cool and collected. His character believes what he's fighting for, which in theory isn't the worst thing in the world: protecting soldiers. But it's the fact that he is backed by a greedy casino owner that makes his acts deplorable, and the murdering of a government official.

Dunne's second target is played by the beautiful, Carla Gugino, who only has one scene of impact. She reveals the conspiracy to Santoro, even though he really has no reason to believe her. She somehow convinces him and he decides to protect her. Gugino is alright in the film, she doesn't have much screen time, but she does succeed in not botching the explanation dialogue. She, like most other things in the movie, is mediocre.

The story in the film is very late 90s, or pre-9/11. There is no way that a dignitary like the Secretary of Defense would only be guarded by a Naval Commander at a public event. And to be more nitpicky, there's no way that the concession area would be that clear of people so that they could pull this off. I know dissecting a fictional conspiracy movie is overkill, but sometime the lack of attention to detail kills me. One that annoys me to no end is how the "winning boxer" is still celebrating in the ring even after the shots have been fired. Honestly, how does 1) the director, or the script supervisor (am I wrong?), miss this, and 2) the editor not leave it on the cutting room floor. This much more amateur than your average continuity issue.

"Snake Eyes" was a noble attempt at a government conspiracy movie. The writing is fine for the genre, but the story itself is very boring. It feels like one of those ideas that looks great in the writer's room, but when it comes to creating a script, no one can quite figure it out. It's the movie version of "The George Wendt Show".

Rating: 5/10 -- Average is about the best way to describe it. It is top three on the ridiculous Cage performances list, and should be seen just for that.