Day 22 -- Southland Tales

Released: November 14th, 2007

Starring: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sean William Scott, Mandy Moore, Justin Timberlake

Writer/Director: Richard Kelly

Description: Southland Tales is an ensemble piece set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Boxer Santaros is an action star who's stricken with amnesia. His life intertwines with Krysta Now, an adult film star developing her own reality television project, and Ronald Taverner, a Hermosa Beach police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.

[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]

***

I was always taught that movies should have some sort of narrative, a story line that one could follow. There's always room to cross genres, and hell even, time periods, but it needs to make sense. It can't look like the writer threw a bunch of ideas at the wall and didn't care how they stringed together.

"Southland Tales" didn't heed this advice. It's a sci-fi/political/conspiratorial/apocalyptic/thriller rolled into one movie. I've watched it twice and have no idea what it is trying to get across. If it's supposed to be a parody, it's not very funny, and I can't figure our what they are parodying. It has this giant ensemble cast, who are all somehow used terribly throughout the movie.  

The call sheet includes: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sean William Scott, Mandy Moore, Justin Timberlake, and for some reason, John Larroquette. My imagination makes me believe that they did this movie on a dare, or high, either way it's probably one they'd all like back. Even Kevin Smith makes a cameo.

The writer/director is Richard Kelly, who was responsible for the extremely polarizing "Donnie Darko", which I change my opinion on each time I watch it, so you knew what this could be going in. But this one makes even less sense that "Darko". Also, there no reason this movie needed to be two and half hours long; 90 minutes would've sufficed. The extra hour was just Kelly showing us how clever he can be.

There are more twist in this film than the last five minutes of a M. Night Shyamalan movie. I couldn't keep track of all the double crosses, and who was in what faction. Even when the movie tries to explain everything at the end, I actually come away more confused. The only conclusion I can come up with is this is supposed to be a modern telling of the Book of Revelation, and even that I'm unsure of.

Rating: 4/10 -- Insane movie that you may need to be on mushrooms to understand, or laugh at. Honestly, it felt like four plots in one with the thinnest of ties between them. Oh, there's a Timberlake musical number where he lip-syncs the Killers, "All These Things That I've Done". Yeah, that happened.

Ringer Review

Network/Writer(s): CW/Eric C. Charmelo, Nicole Snyder

Actors: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kristoffer Polaha, Ioan Gruffudd, Tara Summers

Summary: A young woman on the run from the mob poses as her wealthy twin sister to try and evade them, but soon discovers that her sister has a price on her head as well.

 ***

Sarah Michelle Gellar (miss you, Buff) plays a dual role, which she does a lot better as separate characters than acting with herself (more on that later). She plays Bridget, a recovering addict stripper, and Siobhan, a New York Socialite. She's a lot stronger as Bridget, probably because it's much closer to Buffy than the cold Siobhan.

First off, I'd like to point out that I know that the CW is a little more low-budget than the big four networks, so my next point should be taken with a grain of salt. The scenes where Gellar act opposite herself are laughable in production quality. Though I enjoyed the mirror scene because it was as if they were showing off. Also, she was very wooden and awkward in those scenes, and I was glad when they were finished.

I understand that they wanted the slow, film noir-ish type of storytelling, but the beginning was painfully slow. It was the opposite feeling I had with the ABC Family series "10 Things I Hate About You", where they tried to cram every plot point in the first 10 minutes, and I turned it off at that point.

But Ringer does the opposite, and tries hard to hold back plot points, and kinda takes us through one thread at a time early on. Maybe this is the way it should be but it was way too sleepy for me. Thankfully, things picked up once Siobhan commits "suicide". Hopefully, the writing continues to be this good for the whole series, and doesn't slide back into sleepy mode.

They do a solid job of showing Bridget being overwhelmed in her new life, and trying to figure out how to keep her secret. She's doesn't immediately know how to fit in, and she tries to do things as she thinks they should be. Most notably, her sister's marriage.

In her attempts to save it, she finds out that Siobhan was having an affair with her best friend's husband, Henry, played by the underrated Kristoffer Polaha (Miss you, Baze). After the confusion lifts, Bridget ends things with Henry, and thinks she has every thing under control until... SPOILER (please watch the episode first before reading past this point)

***

Siobhan is pregnant!

The only good thing that comes from this is that Bridget now doesn't have to keep making excuses for not drinking (priorities!). Even though the fake pregnancy has been done before (Glee, for starter), this one actually causes a dilemma more that just an evil scheme.

The writing in the pilot was  uneven, probably the result of some rewrites after CBS passed on it, but the ending...the ending they nailed.

They cut back to the opening scene where Bridget was being cased by a masked man. Seriously, did he really need the mask? He was sent to kill one skinny former drug addict, and I assume he planned on succeeding. You only wear the mask if you plan to leave living witnesses.

I digress. The reveal that Siobhan is alive (BTW, did the CW really have to reveal this twist in the preview) was perfect. It made me sit and wait for the preview of next week's episode, and that is all you really want from a pilot ending; make people want to come back. Thoroughly enjoyed the final 40 minutes of the show.

Rating: 7.5/10. Would have been higher with a better start.

Interest: The ending has me hooked, so let's see how long they can tell this story before it gets boring.

Movie Monday: Must Watch Actresses List

As you may have noticed, there's a list of 5 actresses on the right sidebar. Now this isn't a shallow list that ranks the women because of their Hotness. While that does factor in, they also need to be able to act because there are hot girls in soap operas, but I'm not DVR-ing Days of Our Lives, or buying it on DVD (Do they put Soap Operas on DVD?). So enjoy the first installment of my Must Watch Actresses List.


5. Sarah Michelle Gellar

Well, it's nice to see my original favorite kick ass woman make an appearance on the inaugural list. Sarah had all but disappeared from mainstream film and TV following the alright final season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. After appearing in the awful Grudge 2, she began working the independent scene, including the insane but must see, Southland Tales along side Justin Timberlake and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Now, she is returning to the small screen in the CW thriller, Ringer, in which she plays a dual role as twin sisters. Needless to say I will be glued to this show no matter how awful the writing or the acting of her co-stars.

4. Alexis Bledel

Wow, has Rory Gilmore grown up. After all these years, those piercing blue eyes still make me stop and watch whatever movie or episode of Gilmore Girls I happen to come across. From the first time I saw her in Tuck Everlasting to my anticipation to see the Conspirator, I will watch her in anything including an embarrassing amount of viewings of The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (you may see two of her three co-star appear on this list at some point). She has a new movie about two teenage assassins with The Lovely Bones' Saoirse Ronan, in which Bledel looks to add action (and a new level of fandom of yours truly) to her resume.

3. Rachel Bilson

I watched the O.C. Yes, the whole series. Even that god awful fourth season with Hercules. And the reason I kept coming back episode after episode: Summer Roberts. Bilson has kept me tuned in to many movies and TV shows that I wouldn't have thought twice about. For example, 2006's The Last Kiss (really, it's been five years) was a tolerable movie, but I would have surely turned it off if Bilson's gorgeous smile never appeared on screen. With her new project from O.C. creator Josh Schwartz, Hart of Dixie, scheduled to premiere in the fall, I will finally be getting my weekly fill of Summer again.

2. Dianna Agron

Have I watched Glee? Yes. Will I admit it if you asked me? Maybe. Thankfully for my manhood, Agron starred in the respectable, I am Number Four, with Timothy Oly-fantastic, and future member of this list, Teresa Palmer (ah, accents). The smokey voice (I love a girl that's perfected the art of whisper talking), the stunning green eyes, and she can actually sing. She has the rare talent to pull off the local outcast loner and the poplar cheerleader, and not look out of place. The only other actress I've seen pull it off convincingly was Mandy Moore. Looking forward to her next big screen project, but for now I'll just look at her GQ photo shoot.

1. Emma Stone

It will be awfully hard to unseat Emma from the top spot. She's smart, quick-witted, beautiful, and one hell of an actress. I first discovered the future A-list star on the short-lived, little known 2007 Fox series, Drive, with underrated actor, Nathan Fillion. There's not much I can say that watching Stone's acting wouldn't say better. Start with Easy A, then proceed to Superbad, House Bunny, and then finish with Zombieland. If she doesn't instantly became one of your must watch actresses, then I don't know why your reading my blog.

*This list is very fluid, and actresses will come on and off, and move up and down frequently, so this is by no means definitive. Keep your eyes on the list, and when it changes I will explain why in the Monday post.


If you disagree, please feel free to leave an actress you would put on this list in the comments, or tweet it to @offthemarktweet.