Released: December 21st, 2010
Starring: Jaleel White, Gary Stretch, Sarah Lieving, Robert Picardo, Dylan Vox
Writer/Director: Nicole L. Selfman/Christopher Ray
Description: Whoever wins... we lose!
[Review may contain spoilers. Please watch movie before reading, unless you don't care. Most of these films have already been released for a while, so they should be readily available.]
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The Sci-Fi original films are an event unto themselves and really shouldn't be compared to real movies, but they are produced and put on film so they deserve a review. I seriously think these films are conceived as a way to see how much ridiculous stuff can be put into a movie, and not for really advancing the art form.
I was surprised to see that there was even a writer for "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus". If you would have told me that all of the lines were ad-libbed, I would have believed you. The dialogue is terrible, the characters were poorly designed, and the plot was an ADD kids' dream, but I loved every minute of it.
Even the most stuffy critic has to admit that there's a place in the movie world for terrible, terrible films that put a smile on your face. Some of my examples being: "Mansquito", "Captain Ron" and "Killer Clowns From Outer Space". These film will never be taught at USC or NYU Film School, but will always stop me from channel surfing. It really takes effort to make movies this awful.
The second installment of the "Mega Shark" series (Yes, it's a series) features Urkel...er, I mean, Jaleel White as Dr. Terry McCormick, a shark "expert". He is currently attempting to invent a way to repel the mega shark using soundwaves, and isn't having much success. Meanwhile, Nigel (Stretch) has stumbled upon a giant crocodile in an African Swamp and captures it. After bring it to sea, he finds that the mega shark is feasting on the giant crocs eggs, and thus, the battle begins.
McCormick and Nigel are recruited by the U.S. Government to stop the two beast, which apparently includes blowing up Panama (yes, the real country of Panama is destroyed). They are lead by Agent Hutchinton (Lieving), who is a tough as nails agent that doesn't smile. The trio romp though Miami, Orlando (the mega shark eats all of the whales in Sea World) and finally ending up in Hawaii. This is where they eventual stop the creatures by blowing up a volcano (swear to God). Like I said, fun times.
Critiquing the performance would be like writing a review on a four-grade production of "Les Miserables". None of the actor are ever going to be nominated for an award or star in anything other than B-movies. The fact that I was missing both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany says something about the level of acting in the movie. But to be honest, we aren't watching these movie for the acting.
"Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" is another one of those movies that are enhanced by the introduction of friends and alcohol. It's not even close to being a respectable movie in terms of quality, but it's high on the entertainment. These movies are the reason "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is such a quality show, there's just so much to comment on.
Rating: 1.5/10 -- As a movie it's bad, but I will always watch it. Also, they are making a third movie where the mega shark battle a mecha shark. I know I can't wait either.
"None of the actor are ever going to be nominated for an award or star in anything other than B-movies"
ReplyDeleteevidently you haven't seen gary stretch in dead man's shoes http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419677/
i thought gary stretches performance in megashark.... was really enjoyable, he did an excellent job of playing a man who does not give a fuck, most probably by actually not giving a fuck while he was acting.
I have not, and now I will have to check it out. I apologize to Mr. Stretch if I stained his career, but I think starring in a "Mega Shark" movie has already done that.
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